Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

I was a quick wet boy

Diving too deep for coins

All of your straight blind eyes

Wide on my plastic toys

And when the cops closed the fair

I cut my long baby hair

Stole me a dog-eared map

And called for you everywhere

Have I found you?

Flightless bird,

jealous, weeping

Or lost you?

American mouth

Big bill looming

Now I’m a fat house cat

Cursing my sore blunt tongue

Watching the warm poison rats

Curl through the wide/white fence cracks

Kissing on magazine photos

Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean

Blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you?

Flightless bird,

brown hair bleeding

Or lost you?

American mouth

Big bill, stuck going down

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


My husband was abnormally sweet last night. When I got home from work, he was washing the dishes and cooking dinner. Rare on the dish washing....not the cooking. After dinner, I decided to make a couple batches of cookies, so I'd mixed the dough and was waiting on the oven. Decided to do up the dishes that I'd gotten dirty and the ones we'd eaten off, and he came into the kitchen and told me he was going to do those. I was almost shocked speechless. Normally I have to ask and sometimes even guilt trip him into helping with any housework.

After we went to bed, we were laying there and he was watching Heroes. He wouldn't let me fall asleep, so I wasted brain cells on that dumb show. After that was over, he starts in on all this sweet talk. Like how when he'd told me earlier in the evening that I was the only one he fantasizes about that he truly meant it. That he'd never cheat on me. That I am his entire world. When I told him I knew all that, he said that he didn't tell me often enough, and he didn't want me to be insecure because he'd been in relationships before where he was the insecure one and didn't want to do that to me. He even said that he wants to know what I'm thinking all the time because he wants to know everything about me, that I'm his best friend in the world. When I told him he truly didn't want to know everything I thought about because he'd be mad if he did....because I think such crappy thoughts about myself so often... he told me he wouldn't be mad, and that he did want to know, so that he could help me think better of myself.

I'm thinking some of this comes from the fact that I got so into Twilight. And, once before I told him I'd like more romantical things. It was kinda weird though. I even cried a little. Shh don't tell anyone! Guess I need to get a fix off hot movie stars and fictional characters a little more often! lol

Sunday, November 23, 2008


K, so this picture, I found the other day and thought it was hilarious!! Who wouldn't laugh if you found this in your kitchen!! Reminds me of some of the antics of the cats that we had growing up.

I'm thinking that Sunday's may be the most depressing day of the week. It means that I have to rush around getting laundry done so that I can be at work on time the next morning. this point it is not something I look forward to. It must change, or I will be going back to PIC where I was perfectly happy.

Rachel and I went to see Twilight this afternoon! Oh My God!! Yummy!! I'm still cleaning up residule drool any time I start thinking of Edward/Robert!! ahhhh I think I need one.....or 10! Somebody please get me one for Christmas! I'll forever be in your debt if you do!!

Well, should get off here and get myself and Bryson ready for bed. I know I shall have some delicious dreams tonight!!! mmmmm.......

Friday, November 21, 2008


So, we got our 1/4 of beef today!! Yummy!! Fresh beef! Todd went out to his parents to bring in our meat. Then I had to try and figure out what to do for dinner. So, I'm looking through the cupboards going....what the hell am I going to make for dinner tonight?? Then it hit me....Spaghetti. Haven't had that in a while. So, I got to use some of the awesome new meat, and it was freaking good. I did have a brain fart while I was cooking though! I opened up my spice cupboard over the stove and totally blanked on what went into spaghetti sauce!! I'm a big dork. I'm standing there looking, and....Nothing. Took me a full minute to remember what to use. And, I have made spaghetti from scratch since I was about 10 years old!! Wow! Maybe I'm getting old-timers already! That's not a good thing. I have enough issues without adding that to the list lol.

So I think Rachel and I are going to go see Twilight on Sunday. We'll hit a matinee so that it's a bit cheaper and the hubbies can't get quite so 'nyah nyah nyah' about it! I'm totally stoked to see that movie. I know it'll be different from the book, because they always are, but I still think it'll be a good one. And anyway....Robert Pattinson is freaking HOT!!!! I want him for my Christmas present.
Well, think I'll get off here. My hubby is making fun of me for blogging. Asked me if I could be a bigger dork. Then he wanted to know who reads my blog. Like he needs to know. This is a journal for me. Arrghh! Men can be such poops!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


So, I'm back to floating today. I figure that by the end of today I will be at almost 38 hours for the week. Means I get out of here after about 2 hours tomorrow!! Yay! That really makes my day. At least I learned something new today: learned how to do a C-Spine x-ray. That's an interesting one to do. And the final result is pretty funky looking. We'll see if I can remember how to do it on the next one! Nice to see I'm not the only one who doesn't know how to do some of the x-rays! One of our RN's had to get help on an L-spine today. Took for freaking ever! Oh well..

So, I am going to add a little sum-sum to this while I wait for the last hour of my day to slowly tick by. I'm placed in a position where I don't want to be, and I really don't like it. I was put into this float thing, well pushed really, wasn't even sure it was something I wanted to do. Hell, I almost cried the day they told me I was given the position. And then, I did cry almost every day from then up until Monday when I officially became the float MA. Mostly, it's going into the unknown, since I can't follow the example of the last float or risk losing my job. They want to shake the position up and change it all around, so I have no clue what I'm doing from one second to the next, not something I deal well with. I like structure at work. I like knowing what I'm supposed to be doing at specific times of the day. Even PIC was more structured than float, and every day on PIC is different from the one before.

It also doesn't help that I'm being accused of not going into this with an open mind. That is not true. I may not have wanted this position, but I sure didn't come into it thinking: "I'm going to hate this job". That would be stupid. I came into it not knowing what to do, so I feel like a ship lost at sea with no rudder. No guidance. Something I am not entirely comfortable with. And if I have to hear: "you'll get out of this what you want", I may go completely off the deep end. I know I don't have far to go, but still. Give me a break. I can't even have a bad day without someone telling me that I'm not looking at the position with an open mind.

The other thing is that they are thinking about having me take on some of the responsibilities of the PMC nurses that the float has never had to do. IE: room 2 of their pt's so they can do paperwork. I did a 12 hour shift on PMC, without a float nurse, and did everything, plus my RX refill requests that I do as float, plus I cleared out some messages from all the PMC nurses. Not just my work, but the work of the nurse I covered for and a little extra paper/phone work. Now, if I did it without help, why do they need so much help. And, I know it's not all of them, it's a certain one or two. I don't mind helping them out when they need it, but I sure as shit do not want to be the office 'go-fer' or 'hey-will-ya'. I do not have it in my personality to do that for a long period of time.

Sounds like I'm not the only one fed up with work this week. The lab tech just told me his week hasn't gone much smoother than mine.

Here's hoping next week goes better....or I may quit life!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Working the Family Practice

Well the day is coming to an end, and it seems I have survived my first full day working family practice. I think I even made it through with all my hair! The day was insane. I'm so used to urgent care and this end is way different. Hopefully, I'll be back to my normal tomorrow. On the up side, I get to go home early on Friday! That means either a nap, or more time with Bryson. Which will I choose??? Knowing me and the guilt I'd feel if I left Bryson at daycare and took a nap, I'll be picking him up early. Oh well, guess we'll get to do some fun art project. I love the little bugger!

The hubby will be out of town all day Saturday. That let's me clean house without him sitting around watching TV or playing on the computer while I work. Believe me that pisses me off more than most anything else. I did finally get him to clean the bathroom for me last week though. But I had to ask, he didn't volunteer. Are all men that blind??? So he gets to go play paintball, while I'm stuck at home cleaning. How is that fair? Then he has the nerve to be upset when I spend time with my mom and don't invite him. What the hell?

I'm exited for Thanksgiving. A lot of family in town from my hubby's side. Good thing I like all the ones that'll be there!! And, that weekend I get my tattoo touched up. I totally love it, no regrets at all about getting it, or where I got it. On the foot, and it did not hurt nearly as bad as I thought it was going too. It seems that we will all be at my place for the tattooing this time, so that means I have some extra cleaning to do next week. Yay me. Cleaning is totally not my thing.

Well, that's about it for now. Tune in next time for more in the boring life of me.